EXERT FROM APPENDIX 1 from Don Featherstone's Battles With Model Soldiers
(The book that got me started.)

"Nothing in these pages is a dictate, no word says you must or you shall do it this way. On the contrary, the book sets out from the very beginning to stimulate the reader to think for himself, and to use what he has read merely as a foundation for efforts and ideas which reflect his own temperament and character. Only in this way will he obtain maximum satisfaction from the hobby of battling with model soldiers."

-Don Featherstone 1918 - 2013

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Checking the Omens

Its been one of those weeks, hot muggy days, hotter than average for August, no real rain in ages so the only plants thriving in the garden are weeds and the well is on "E" and as usual more bills than money. Well, I tell myself, ever the optimist, things can always be worse. That's when I noticed that one of my tires was flat.

After an epic struggle I managed to wrestle the tire off and there, sticking out as plain as day, was a big honking screw. A SCREW !? SERIOUSLY? as is "you're screwed buddy"?  Is this cosmic trash talk or what passes for humour?  Watch for signs indeed. Well, I guess you shouldn't be here if you can't take a joke.

"Old man what do the signs say? Is it time to charge these Persians" "hmm uhh no, nooo, perhaps not the best time to charge right now sire, maybe check back in an hour".

   RUN!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Hopefully tonight I'll finally get this battle report posted.

5 comments:

  1. Hi Ross:

    Your post makes me feel glad that army chaplains are no longer required to consult animal viscera before a battle in order to advise the CO. :)

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    1. I don't know Mike, I seem to recall the process included roasting the meat and the priests got the left overs.

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  2. Ross - we all know this is just a bad break - could happen to anyone (etc). On the other hand, if you have a spare 5 minutes, try flipping a screw and getting it to land point up on the ground, such that it could damage a tire. Impossible, isn't it? There is no way that a screw can accidentally align itself to cause a puncture (except in Tom & Jerry cartoons). This is definitely evidence of malice.

    No, I don't mean that someone has deliberately given you a puncture. It is simply another instance of the deep hatred that inanimate objects hold for mankind. That screw did it on purpose - you know it did - in fact it was probably put up to it by something else that hates you - the weeds, maybe. The only answer is to carry out the full Basil Fawlty, and flatten it between two big hammers. Let's see it laugh that off. You must never let them get away with it.

    You know it makes sense.

    Tony

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    1. Tony, I know who was responsible. Didn't want to mention it but when I tried to get the spare out, the clip that holds the cover down was jammed so that I couldn't open it. When I finally dug through the sand, hay and other debris, the culprit was a small sand coloured helmet, a NAZI helmet! ok a very small one, 1/35th scale but still it was a sure sign of who sabotaged me! I mean, I haven't dabbled in 1/35th scale kits since years before I bought the car, how else could it have gotten there eh? and the screw was just the right size for a hidden IPD such as they might have planted! I'll have to warn Hector to keep a sharp eye out.

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  3. Just goes to show you -- Murphy rules.

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